Anyways, been feeling rather lonely these days, although mum is at home. But she'll be gg to work next wk, and tats when i nd to take care of myself le, so more on that later.. Back to topic, yes i feel lonely.. and whenever im alone, i tend to think a lot.. so much to ponder about..
One thing is abt the driving course. There's this particular guy whom i kinda missed having his presence. To me, he's like a brotherly figure. Perhaps i dun have a brother so i long for that feeling of having one who can take care of me. And he portrays a brotherly figure to me. Wad he does during the course, he always treat me badly with scorn and mockery. But in actual fact, he's doing that to spite me, so i cud fight back. He noes im a timid person and wants to change my character. Well, i did.. changed a bit becos of him. I became a bit more daring aft wad he did to me.. but still, haven quite reached the top yet. Anw, i missed "quarreling" with him.. everytime he will always try to say things to hurt my feelings to push my morale down, but i will fight back and say things to hurt him too.. haha.. its just a habit that i will do whenever i see him. And now, i no longer see him cos we're in diff camps. The only way i cud talk to him is thru the game im playing now, which is also recommended by him. Thanks to him, im kinda hooked on the game now.. although the reason for playing is just to communicate with him.. Haiz.. he's just like a brother to me.. u noe.. ah well~
To carry on, maybe i shud say.. IF i knew that the outcome of me staying in my original bunk in the course would be like this, i wud not have chosen to stay at all. Actually, my first choice was to choose their bunk (whom have this bro that i was talking abt but at that time i still do not know him). But, lying to the fact that its better to stay with someone whom i noe and tats Ash and Ben.. therefore i chose to stay with them instead of Him and his frens. But now, looking back, i rly regretted... all the way till the end.. If only i had chosen to stay in their bunk instead of my bunk.. things might not be wad they are now. Prolly i cud get to know him better and deeper as a fren. And his bunkmates too.. most of which are also technicians. Sigh.. IF ONLY.. anyway, its over. The course's over. So everything is over. The ppl whom i met during the course too. I'll just take them as casual frens or even strangers.
Like they say, the human heart is an emotional organ.. we all have feelings.. Sometimes i just wish to have someone by my side while im in this situation now. But sadly, there's no one around. I understand that everyone is busy now with their own stuffs and all. Its just my thinking that has gotten the better out of me. Sometimes i get hooked onto these feelings and i became miserable thinking about this and that..
On another note, im also kind of worried abt one thing.. whether my fracture will heal completely or not. But in the long run, its certainly to bring problems.. like the avascular necrosis.. a symptom where the head of the hip dies off due to lack of blood flow.. if that happens, i might need another surgery and god knows what will happen next.. So i really hope everything will go fine and smoothly so i do not need another operation.. I rly dun wan another op!! Its so scary to have the first one... and thinking of the next.. goodness!! So wells.. *cross fingers and prays*.. Everything's gonna be alright i hope..
To side things up.. regarding my camp and stuffs.. well nth much to say too. I know that there r some who truly care for me and some who dun. Hmm.. perhaps this fall also let me see the genuine side of ppl.. whether they care for me genuinely or not. Anw, when i return back to camp, i think i might not be able to do maintenance work anymore. Prolly might downpes.. but thats still unconfirmed. I just hoped i can be rid of all these heavy machinery and stuff.. i just wan to do light duty thats all.. Haha.. not keng lah.. but.. ahwell~
I guess i really said a lot of things.... all thats in the mind..... this happens when im all alone.. tends to think a lot of things.. So yeah, like i was saying, next wk onwards gotta learn how to take care of myself le.. no one ard to help me.. well just hope i can manage by myself..
Really very boring.. Bored to the max...
Hope i can faster recover and get back on my 2 feet again!!
Thats all...
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