Winzzy's World Of Thoughts

After such a long time of not blogging, i just felt like blogging, again. The feeling of wanting to pen down all my thoughts and feelings and also rantings into this blog, just came to my mind. I dunno if anyone will be reading this, but anyways so yeah.

Recently, a series of events just happened and i felt as if i was in a roller-coaster, going through all the ups and downs in life.

There are just too many things that happened, and i just dunno where to start..

Okay..as of now, im currently working in another company after my previous job, but its just a temporary job as its just a 6 mths contract. Its already 4 mths plus now since i started working, so just left abt 1 mth plus more to go before my job comes to an end. And yeah, can't wait for it to end actually.. cos i wanna take a good long break!! Been very stressed and tired working continuously.. and sometimes really so stressed that i felt i could break down just any moment.

But then, along the way i also met many nice colleagues. Most of them are interns and temp staffs, just like me. All of them from different departments, but during lunch we are just like one big family, getting together and having lunch together. Those were really gd times! But as time passes.. most of them had already left the company as their contract and internship has ended. So now, its just left with 2 person, and thats me and my colleague, who is also an intern. From such a big group of ppl to just 2 of us.. its really very sad. But then, ppl come and ppl go. Nothing is forever.

Well but after so many "hi"s and "bye"s, i managed to forge out a close bond with my colleague and another temp guy, and together we form a clique. I really love this clique of ours! Although just 3 person, but is closely knit together. Anyway, i don't really like big groups too. 3 is just nice. But then, everyone is busy and have their own lives to lead, so we don't really meet that often but we'll still try to meet up if there's time. So, its good and i hope our clique will continue to remain strong and go on and on forever!

So, thats so much on my work life.. now come to my social life.. which is church. Well, i have changed a new church since last year after my ex-colleague invited me to his cellgroup. So i got to know many ppl there and it was really an exciting experience for me. However, things change.. As time goes by, more and more ppl join the cellgroup and it becomes very big. But too big is not good.. its so big that i felt quite leftout in there and there wasn't any ppl whom i feel close to. So i start to slowly withdraw myself from the group by not going for cellgroup meetings and church services.

So, i now no longer attend the church services and cellgroup meetings anymore. But i have no intentions of joining another new church or whatsoever as i don't wish to get stuck in this kind of "feeling left out then withdraw from church" situation again. Having been thru so much in life especially in the area of church, i think its better for me not to dwell in church stuffs anymore and just simply live a plain simple life will do.

Although many ppl say, u can't live without god.. how true is that? I mean, even if u do have a relationship with god or not, life still goes on isn't it?? Maybe some ppl look towards God as an emotional support. To me, i want something physical, not spiritual.. I want a person to be there when im sad, lonely and down.. i want ppl to care for me and show concern for me, thats why i rely on friends a lot..

Its not easy for me to make frens as im not very sociable and also due to being hurt so much in life before, i dun really trust anyone now except for those frens whom i feel they are really close and i will really treasure them and keep them close to my heart. To those frens whom i once knew and our frenship were strong, but due to some circumstances and situation, things change and the frenship that were once strong is no longer strong anymore, it becomes fragile like glass and it breaks so easily. Of coz, im very sad that our "once strong" frienship just end like this, but i guess, nothing is forever. Although im sad, yes.. but what can i do? Lost is lost already.. we can't get it back.. and no point crying over spilt milk.

So now, im just left with a few friends, but it beats having none. At least, having a few true friends is better than having so many casual frens or acquaintances.. and furthermore, maintaining a frenship is not easy, so if u have too many frens, its very hard to maintain them. So yeah, having a few true frens is already very good.

So yeah, i've spoken a lot already.. Well so this is my journey of life so far.. As of now, i dun wish to think too much already.. Let bygones be bygones, past is past.. Just look forward to the future and thats it. Those not worth keeping i will not keep anymore.

Okay, i'll end here..