Sunday blues

Sunday, March 20, 2011 at 7:08 PM
Its Sunday again!! Drats!! I hate it manz.. cos tmr will be back to camp again.

First, let's not talk abt those camp stuff first.. Maybe i shud say wad i did during the weekend..

Actually, wkends are like friday night till sunday.. but most of the time i only spend 1 day outside, thats saturday. Its usually just a chill out day with frens or just a normal day out shopping yep and thats it.. nth special. Anyways, ytd went to SJPS for a while and saw it was so happening in there! Dragonfly is like damn cool.. omg im so gonna go back there again!! But then, come to it.. im not much of a clubber.. just feel that i dun blend in with the environment at all.. Although the songs might be catchy and atmosphere very high.. i just can't move with the beat and totally be myself and just let loose all.. i feel so restricted.. maybe im too closed up already..

The same goes for me in camp. Perhaps due to my closed up and reserved-ness.. i appear to be a very cold n unsociable person in camp.. Nobody likes to talk to me.. i felt damn lonely and anti-social ttm.. Is it cos i dun have a gd sense of humour?? I rly dunno how to joke abt things or to make funny or light hearted conversations with ppl.. All i do is be very serious tats y they think im a very serious person.. I rly dunno how to strike a convo with those "new" guys in my pln at all.. felt so helpless.. Blame it on the fact that i dun open up myself too much to them thats y.. Now i just feel more and more left out in the pln.. machiam like odd one out.. Just wanna faster ord and get out of this hellish place..

Damnn.. these 2 years of ns life seems so long... Even now that im out of my injury, i still have to serve another half a year more then can finally ord.. Really hate it sia.. These 2 years.. i hate it so much so much.. Really a waste of my time!!! Maybe if i dun have these 2 yrs.. i cud just further my studies after poly or go to work.. and then i wouldn't be in this pile of mess..

Now, there;s an exercise gg on in our battalion too.. so we must all OT until late at night like 10pm.. super shitty man... can't wait for it to end.. i wonder if tmr need to stay in or not.. i rly dunno wad time we'll OT until tmr.. Sucks!

K lah, enough of all this shitty-ness.. life is always full of shit....

Ending off with a big pile of SHIT..

BBYE...

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Mid March

Sunday, March 13, 2011 at 6:45 PM
Oookay.. now its mid March already.. but sigh!! Still a long while from ord.. zz

Those april batch ord one are the best.. dun have to stay in that much.. as coming April we all have to stay in already.. stupid man!! Sucks!!

And dunno why suddenly got this major exercise that requires us to stay until 10pm for every mon tues and wed of each week.. sian lor.. that means an early stay in for me!! SUCKS MAN!!

March is a sucky month!! Everything bad and suay comes in March.. this stupid exercise thingy.. ICT and bla bla.. it really sucks lah!!

Now i feel even more and more distant from my pln mates.. dunno wad to say to them when i see them.. but i hate it when some of them try to "disturb" me or "aim" at me.. when i didnt even do anything wrong.. Is it cos i look nice and easy to bully so they do this to me?? What do i gain from being such a nice person afterall?? Being nice is no longer good anymore..

But anw, those whom dun like me are gg to ord soon.. so just quickly f off from this place then i still have one who dun see me eye to eye he gg to ord later than me.. but anw he gg to taiwan soon and will be back in june maybe? So hopefully dun have to see him anymore..

Now the thing is.. i noe stay in is gg to be really sucky.. with my pln mates and bunk mates.. i wonder wad i must do to bond with them closer..

It sucks not to have a fren at all in camp.. u just feel so lonely and alone by urself.. thats me.. i dun feel connected to my pln at all.. there's no togetherness.. and i hate it!!

Some ppl can joke but i can't.. im just so cold and stiff without any sense of humour at all.. why am i born this way..??

Shant say anymore.. will end here bb.. Tmr stay in lo!! SUCKS!! 3 Days!! Grrr...

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