Nervous ttm!

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 12:41 PM
Words can't express how nervous i am now.. felt like there were trillions and zillions of butterflies in my stomach. Super anxious and nervous to the max.. cos i'll be gg to see the doctor later! Wonder what's the outcome? I got this hunch that i might be called to go back to serve e nation but then in my the other mind, i hope i can still get a further extension.. im so lost right now.. But then if the doctor say no, means i'll have to go back tmr.. can't imagine man.. am still not prepared yet.. dunno wad is gg to happen at all.. now i totally have no mood and no feeling.. just like a dead man.. Hoping someone would come and give me words of advice but sigh, who can i find? There's no one out there who knows my pain, worries and sorrows.. I might appear to be a happy person but actually i am not. Im sad, miserable and feeling low deep down inside.. but i dun wanna say out only.. everytime try to suppress my feelings and emotions and pretending to be a happy person outside.. i really dun like this at all..

Anyway.. will be lifeless from now till i see the doctor later.. heart beats to the maximum!! Ohh..and im also having a flu now.. damm.. why! I hate mondays.. mondays sucks to the core.. monday blues.. i dun wish to think abt anything else.. just hope i can still get an extension for a few days or more.. plsssss.. my heart is so unsettled now.. and my mind in a trance.. feel like killing myself right now.. oops.

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