Words can't express how nervous i am now.. felt like there were trillions and zillions of butterflies in my stomach. Super anxious and nervous to the max.. cos i'll be gg to see the doctor later! Wonder what's the outcome? I got this hunch that i might be called to go back to serve e nation but then in my the other mind, i hope i can still get a further extension.. im so lost right now.. But then if the doctor say no, means i'll have to go back tmr.. can't imagine man.. am still not prepared yet.. dunno wad is gg to happen at all.. now i totally have no mood and no feeling.. just like a dead man.. Hoping someone would come and give me words of advice but sigh, who can i find? There's no one out there who knows my pain, worries and sorrows.. I might appear to be a happy person but actually i am not. Im sad, miserable and feeling low deep down inside.. but i dun wanna say out only.. everytime try to suppress my feelings and emotions and pretending to be a happy person outside.. i really dun like this at all..
Anyway.. will be lifeless from now till i see the doctor later.. heart beats to the maximum!! Ohh..and im also having a flu now.. damm.. why! I hate mondays.. mondays sucks to the core.. monday blues.. i dun wish to think abt anything else.. just hope i can still get an extension for a few days or more.. plsssss.. my heart is so unsettled now.. and my mind in a trance.. feel like killing myself right now.. oops.
A new year... 2011!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
at
1:27 AM
YO!! A new year..2011!! Still can't believe so fast its over..! Feels like screaming and yelling n shouting!! Which i did just now.. lol.. just can't resist the new year mood.. heard many ppl screaming below too.. lol.. everybody is just so high!!
Well, this year is different from last year n previous years.. cos i stayed at home! Every year i will always be out to celebrate the countdown.. but this year had to stay home and watch tv countdown.. well u noe.. anyway, 2010 has been both a good and bad year for me. It is bad for me as i experienced lots of shit from the ah mee esp in my unit.. and also a little bit during the driving course i had with my di.. and also, the sorta bad thing is.. i had a bad fall which caused me to have this injury and to stay at home for abt 5 months plus, which is sorta a "blessing in disguise" to me as i could have a long break, so thats the "good" thing. But anyway, its still bad.. cos it'll take some time for me to recover back to normal state and to walk like before.
I guess there's nothing for me to remember for 2010 though.. not any significant thing that i know of.. so its good that its finally come to an end.. SO now.. 2011!! The year i've been waiting..cos its my ORD year!! Finally!! But still got abt 6 mths plus.. which is still quite long.. aww.. can't wait to get over it soon!!
Now, let's get a little emotional lols.. Well im having mixed feelings actually cos today or rather in a few hours later my mum and sis will be leaving to taiwan.. I really feel like going too! Anyway, i will miss my mum though cos she's been always there for me and took care of me.. im kinda used to relying on her now.. yup. So without her, i'll have to do things on my own and such.. Plus, with just my dad and i, things are a little awkward as im not that close to my dad as compared to my mum.. so i just dunno how to live thru those days with just him and me. But anyway, i will still have to go thru them, so yeah. Though i find my mum a bit naggy at times and wished she wouldn't be ard for a while.. but now that she's going to be away for a week or so.. i kinda missed her presence.. no wonder the phrase, "Absence makes the heart fonder" is so true..
When they come back, its gonna be the end of my mc soon and perhaps i'll have to get back to work again.. but i rly dunno how or wad to do shud i go back, cos given my condition now though i can walk, i can't walk that fast or like normal pace, and gg up and down the stairs is quite a task for me as i can't step with one leg and the other leg on the next step.. i'll have to bring my leg up on the same step for me before i can do it for the other.. lol sounds a bit confusing nvm.. so im just wondering if im to climb the stairs in my camp.. how long will it take.. and also talking abt walking since i can't walk normal pace.. it will take quite sometime for me to walk from the main building of my company to the cookhouse..wonder if that lunch break hour would be enuf for me or not.. so many things to frustrate and think about.. yet i can't do anything abt it.. cos the decision lies in the doctor's hands.. if he decides im ok, then i'll have to go back.. otherwise i'll still be on mc..
SO yeah.. thats the reasons why im having mixed feelings now.. hopefully my leg can quickly recover back to the normal state so i can walk normal pace, run, jump or even squat which i can't do all these for now.. And hope that i can ord soon too.. and that i can go on a vacation to celebrate my ord!!
OK.. i guess i will stop here for now.. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all who's reading this!! May the new year brings hope, peace, love, joy and warmth to everyone.. KK, peace out!!
Well, this year is different from last year n previous years.. cos i stayed at home! Every year i will always be out to celebrate the countdown.. but this year had to stay home and watch tv countdown.. well u noe.. anyway, 2010 has been both a good and bad year for me. It is bad for me as i experienced lots of shit from the ah mee esp in my unit.. and also a little bit during the driving course i had with my di.. and also, the sorta bad thing is.. i had a bad fall which caused me to have this injury and to stay at home for abt 5 months plus, which is sorta a "blessing in disguise" to me as i could have a long break, so thats the "good" thing. But anyway, its still bad.. cos it'll take some time for me to recover back to normal state and to walk like before.
I guess there's nothing for me to remember for 2010 though.. not any significant thing that i know of.. so its good that its finally come to an end.. SO now.. 2011!! The year i've been waiting..cos its my ORD year!! Finally!! But still got abt 6 mths plus.. which is still quite long.. aww.. can't wait to get over it soon!!
Now, let's get a little emotional lols.. Well im having mixed feelings actually cos today or rather in a few hours later my mum and sis will be leaving to taiwan.. I really feel like going too! Anyway, i will miss my mum though cos she's been always there for me and took care of me.. im kinda used to relying on her now.. yup. So without her, i'll have to do things on my own and such.. Plus, with just my dad and i, things are a little awkward as im not that close to my dad as compared to my mum.. so i just dunno how to live thru those days with just him and me. But anyway, i will still have to go thru them, so yeah. Though i find my mum a bit naggy at times and wished she wouldn't be ard for a while.. but now that she's going to be away for a week or so.. i kinda missed her presence.. no wonder the phrase, "Absence makes the heart fonder" is so true..
When they come back, its gonna be the end of my mc soon and perhaps i'll have to get back to work again.. but i rly dunno how or wad to do shud i go back, cos given my condition now though i can walk, i can't walk that fast or like normal pace, and gg up and down the stairs is quite a task for me as i can't step with one leg and the other leg on the next step.. i'll have to bring my leg up on the same step for me before i can do it for the other.. lol sounds a bit confusing nvm.. so im just wondering if im to climb the stairs in my camp.. how long will it take.. and also talking abt walking since i can't walk normal pace.. it will take quite sometime for me to walk from the main building of my company to the cookhouse..wonder if that lunch break hour would be enuf for me or not.. so many things to frustrate and think about.. yet i can't do anything abt it.. cos the decision lies in the doctor's hands.. if he decides im ok, then i'll have to go back.. otherwise i'll still be on mc..
SO yeah.. thats the reasons why im having mixed feelings now.. hopefully my leg can quickly recover back to the normal state so i can walk normal pace, run, jump or even squat which i can't do all these for now.. And hope that i can ord soon too.. and that i can go on a vacation to celebrate my ord!!
OK.. i guess i will stop here for now.. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all who's reading this!! May the new year brings hope, peace, love, joy and warmth to everyone.. KK, peace out!!
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